let’s talk chaos…there’s been so much going on to stress me out lately that i don’t even know where to begin…so this will be in no particular order…just as i remember them.
lets see, i’ll start with the most recent…adam has been working his ASS off lately. for his fulltime job. he has had shoots for table mountain (i think its been the same client for all these shoots) this week…starting yesterday, when he went into work at 5am…yes that’s 5AM!!! and didn’t get home to after midnite! lets see that would be 18+ hours! yesterday sucked!
today he slept in a little (i didn’t let him sleep very long…computer issues…more on that in a bit)…and went into work around 10am. and we won’t see him again before bedtime. he expects to be shooting til after 10pm. which means he probably won’t be home til after 11…and if its anything like last nite something will happen to keep him there even longer. shoots never ever run like clockwork. there’s always more stuff to do that turns up, or things take longer. always. well the good news on today is that the kids got to see daddy briefly this morning and we made it a point to go into work this afternoon to pick up his paycheck so they got to see him briefly again. if i manage to stay awake (not likely), i MAY see him tonite when he gets home…maybe.
tomorrow…more of the same…going into work regular time (maybe later…if we’re lucky…but he has other clients that he’s busting his ass for this week too, so might not be able to get the time off to give him a break) he has late shoots again tomorrow nite and saturday nite. wanna know the worst part? he gets no overtime pay for working his ass off for this stuff. if he did, it might feel worth it…but he’s on salary. so he’s supposed to take time off to compensate for the extra hours. but guess what? because of the way his job works, he rarely can take that extra time off because of clients needing stuff done…very often last minute. (WHY do clients seem to do everything last minute? do they not think anyone else has a life and should just drop everything for them because they didn’t plan ahead? well i guess they do and since they’re paying for it…well i guess they deserve to get what they pay for…argh, its a lose lose situation for our family in my eyes, argh argh argh!!) sometimes he is able to get time off. but he pretty much never takes off the same amount of extra time that he worked. he’s very dedicated to his job so he does what needs to be done and so basically he busts his ass for nothing. ok not nothing, because it helps the company and the company pays his salary…so its keeping paychecks coming in. but it just steams me that he gets taken away from his family like this. ok it doesn’t happen every week…it doesn’t even happen every month. but when it does happen it happens in clusters like this and it really puts me and the kids out and they ask where daddy is…maeven sometimes cries because she misses daddy and i’m stressed to the max because i’ve essentially had to be a single parent during the time he’s gone and i’m not equipped to do so.
ok i know that there are single parents out there going “wah, we do it all the time without help”…yeah well, you know you have to do it yourself…and your life is set up that way. mine is not. i’m NOT a single parent and i HATE being forced to be one!
more stuff going on but my toddler is falling asleep in my arms and i gotta wake him up or i’m going to have him sleeping for an hour or two and then up again until 2am like he did the other day. nooooooo siree…WAKE UP!!!