I wrote this article when my oldest was just 4yrs old. I started homeschooling, officially, when she was 6, in 2006, and (loosely) added my son to our homeschooling in 2010 when he was 5. If you do that math, that means my daughter graduated 2019, and my son in 2023.
Below are the idealized dreams of a young mom, just starting her homeschool journey with one very young child… Many of my dreams didn’t come true as reality set in with children’s personalities coming into play and my own ADHD issues…but the beliefs stated here are ones I still hold firm to, all these years later.
This is entirely my opinion. And I do believe everyone has the right to make their own decisions for their own children. And I also do NOT believe that ALL children should be homeschooled, nor do I believe every family is capable of doing it, or should. There are children that thrive in public or private schools, and there are parents that are homeschooling that shouldn’t be. That said, here’s some of the many reasons why I personally believe in homeschooling, with all my heart and soul.
I am so excited about homeschooling! I get to continue to be with my children all day, every day, and will continue to truly know who they are and be the most influential person in their lives! Of course there will be times when we all need a break from each other, and I will plan our schedules to include things for the kids away from mom and things for mom away from kids, to help keep us all sane and appreciating each other. But the thought of being the one who gets to see the light in my children’s eyes when they “get” a concept or see something new for the first time…oh, that’s just so exciting! I am staying home with my 4 year old daughter now because I want to be the person who raises her…I want to be the biggest influence in her life…I want to be a part of every aspect of her growth…and that won’t change simply because she grows to be “school age.” If anything, that’s when even MORE exciting things will start to happen!
I am really looking forward to all the things I will get to learn with my children! There are so many subjects that I either never got a chance to learn in school myself or didn’t get adequate time on. I just LOVE learning new things…and I am looking forward to learning things right along with my kids! I am really jazzed about sharing this love of learning with my kids. The world is just full of wonderful things to learn! And they say the best way to learn about something is to teach it! I have always found that to be true!
I have always loved teaching…I love children and sharing the excitement and love of learning with them and showing them and teaching them new things…I LOVE THIS! If I sent my children to a school, someone else would be their teacher…I want it to be ME! And there are so many things that I can do with my kids to enhance their learning experiences that cannot be done in schools. I have so many ideas! I already have curriculum books and will continue to acquire more and I am forever reading all the wonderful homeschooling websites out there and learning new ideas…I can’t wait to get started!
Then there’s the whole issue of what I DON’T want them to learn…I have so many reasons why I want to homeschool, and of equal importance is the reasons I DON’T want them in school…
I was not homeschooled…I know how public and private schools work. I grew up in the military and went to way more schools than could have possibly been healthy (civilian and military schools). We moved ever year or two. In second grade I had 3 schools and 4 teachers! (That was an unusual year.) What I remember from school, the things I DON’T want for my kids, (and I think this is typical of many schools, though admittedly NOT all)…I remember not getting the personal attention I so wanted because the teachers could not possibly give it with so many students to care for. I remember having to learn subjects that didn’t interest me in the least and not getting to spend enough time, if any, on the subjects that did interest me. I remember being at the mercy of a bell and the clock. I remember having to fill in worksheets and take tests…and homework, oh god the homework. I remember taking home stacks of heavy books daily and after spending hours of burning my brain on stuff that mostly didn’t stay put in my memory during the day, then having to spend MORE hours at home at night doing more mindless exercises in cramming as many facts and concepts into my brain as possible, hoping that it would then make me have better grades and higher test scores… Oh sure, there were things that actually stuck, and I can’t say that I didn’t learn a thing in school. Of course I did. You can’t spend 13 years at something and not get something out of it! But the percentage of what I learned compared to what I could’ve learned is so low! It seems to me that there’s a reason they try to cram so much at students. So much of it doesn’t stay.
And I remember dreading having to go to school. That can’t be conducive to learning. I remember so often hating school. Not always, not every day. But so much of the time. Oh I know there are a lot of kids who LOVE school. That’s great! I wasn’t one of them…neither was my husband, or my brother or father or mother…I couldn’t tell you off the top of my head of any adult in my life that loved school…though I just told you of several off the top of my head that disliked or hated school.
And then there’s the social issues. I wasn’t unpopular as I recall…so I really can’t say I had it that bad for most of my school experience…god help all the “different” kids that got picked on daily. I didn’t really experience that much until I hit junior high…then I REALLY got a taste of it. People say this kind of stuff toughens you up and prepares you for the real world. HOW? I’d like to know how being tormented and teased and made to feel worthless daily is supposed to make you a better, stronger person. Did it work on all those kids that have lost it and shot up their classmates? How about all the people who are still dealing with self esteem issues that stem back, at least partially, to the bullying that they endured as a child in school? Why is depression such a common ailment in our country? Certainly it can’t all be blamed on the schools, but how could bullying and teasing possibly help? And here’s another thought…why in the world would it be a good thing to learn to be tough? I don’t want tough kids, I want caring, loving, sensitive and happy-with-themselves-and-the-world kids. Honestly, I don’t think you learn this at all in schools. I think there are remarkable teachers out there who do many positive things with kids, but if you’re looking at a child’s entire school career…I really feel there’s WAY more negative for my children in going to school than there is positive.
There’s just so many reasons why I want to homeschool…of course I will also throw in that I don’t want my kids exposed to things that are commonplace in schools like: foul language, sexual harassment (even in elementary schools!), physical violence, bullying, substance abuse, racism, sexism, classism, materialism, kids that come from dysfunctional homes that have SO many issues to expose my children to, and disrespect for authority. And not all teachers should be teachers. Yes, there are some WONDERFUL teachers out there, and I have great respect for them! They have one of the toughest jobs in the world, second only to mothering! But there’s some pretty horrendous teachers out there as well…and they can be SO damaging to developing little people. How many of us can tell horror stories, of our own or someone else’s, of some nasty horrible thing a teacher did that we remember vividly. I had a 7th grade social studies teacher that used to tell us that if “they” had just left Hitler alone that he would have “gotten rid of” all the bad people in the world! When I was in 3rd grade I got in trouble for talking to a friend during class and got sent to the corner where I was forgotten for well over an hour! I was humiliated and heartbroken. Not conducive to learning nor feeling good about yourself. When I was substituting in a local public school a few years ago I witnessed a teacher SCREAMING in a student’s face (maybe 7 or 8 year old). I don’t care if that child is the devil incarnate, there’s NO excuse for doing something so degrading and nasty to a child. Teachers have a hard job, no doubt…but these sorts of things are not at all uncommon and parents of children who attend school are not around to witness this nor are they always to hear about it. Kids don’t always tell their parents all that happens in school.
I won’t go any further into the reasons I don’t want my kids in school…I’m not trying to badmouth schools here. I’m just sharing my thoughts, and what makes me feel so strongly about homeschooling. I want the people in my life who question my reasons to homeschool to know my feelings…and hopefully understand that I’m not going into this lightly. This isn’t some whim of mine. I’ve been researching and reading and learning and talking and exploring these possibilities for years before I even got married. When someone asks me why I would want to homeschool, I want them to know that this is VERY important to me and why. I’ve even started to surround myself with homeschooling families. Thank heavens we live in a city that has a fairly large homeschooling population! My kids will be surrounded by other homeschoolers (and non) and will always have people in their lives of all ages. And I want others to be part of their homeschooling…I want their Daddy and grandparents to also teach them things. I want them to learn the value of learning from so many different people. I want so much!
I am not against kids learning in groups…I don’t think its as positive as people say it is…but I also don’t think its bad, per se. I do believe in mixed ages though. I don’t think having kids grouped by age is necessarily a good thing. Life doesn’t work that way. School is the only time in anyone’s life that they are in a large group the same age! There is so much to learn from other ages, though. There are so many studies out there showing how positive mixing ages is…I’ve seen it! I used to work at a private school that had very small classes and the ages were mixed with up to 3 different grades. Children learned at their own level and were very much involved in their education. And they helped each other! This is how I plan to homeschool.
I believe in a mix of “unschooling” and waldorf education and reggio emilia and montessori and enki and so many different techniques and ideas that I will discover along the way and come up with myself…I’m very eclectic. I will personalize for each of my children.
I will teach them to love learning and we will take it day by day and revel in the wonder of life. And some days we’ll stay in our PJs!!! I want my children to not have the stress of waking to a buzzer every day and rushing to get dressed, eat and get out the door at a specific time…and running from thing to thing all day…I want them to be able to be children, and learn things in a relaxed setting. In an environment that is set up in a way to be enriching and beautiful! I think things like color and shape and texture and sound are so vital to healthy living. I want my children to learn appreciation of nature and natural things and visit the wild on a regular basis. I want music to be a crucial part of their daily living, including learning instruments when they are ready. And I want to learn to play some instruments with them and for them. I want to learn guitar to sing with my children and to beat tribal rhythms on conga and bongo drums… I want art to be an ever constant thing in their lives…I want my kids to paint daily and sculpt and create things with stuff lying around the house. I want them to grow up learning how to sew and knit and crochet (boys too!) and woodwork (girls too!) and any other craft their heart desires. I want them be exposed to other cultures through books and music and art and food and people. I want my children to explore their spirituality right along with me and learn that god is everywhere and in all of us and can be physically felt in natural things. I want our home to be a place that just feels so good…to be, to do, to live, to laugh, to love…I want it to be warm and uncluttered and beautiful to look at and have a feeling of comfort to all who enter, and especially for those of us living there…I want my children to grow up with “smell memories” of baking bread and cookies and homemade soups and stews and holiday treats that will forever take them back to happy childhood memories and a feeling of love that surrounds them forever. I want all of this and more. This is homeschooling to me…this is life. Because homeschooling is more than just learning your abcs or how to do long division or the elements present in water. Homeschooling is instilling a lifelong love of learning and learning how to LIVE. Something that so many of us are still trying to learn as adults.
I just stumbled upon your website and reading this article made me feel like i could have written it too! It was awesome! I feel like every single sentence represent me, it’s the way i feel! I’m so glad and happy to see that there is somebody out there feeling the same!
keep it up!
Glad to hear that! Its always nice to find someone that feels the same, isn’t it? 🙂
Well done on your efforts. My son sttars school next year, and my husband and I have talked about homeschool but honestly I have to admit I think he really would drive me crazy. I truly admire any parent who can do it.I am a teacher from a past life, but I just don’t know if I could teach my son full time. I also worry about his younger sister getting in the way and disrupting learning time. We’ll see how things go with mainstream school!PS. I love your blog and hope you don’t mind if I add you to my blogroll. xx
Thank you for taking a break from the many fun, but busy roles of a homeschooling mom and sharing your heart. Your article is a blessing and both relaxing and inspiring to read. It helps remind me of all the goodness that God intended for children and parents to experience and enjoy together. Homeshcooling is a wonderful magic blanket to take us on the lifelong journey of learning together and learning about each other. The ride is whatever we make of it at the time: It can change colors, shapes and textures as well as “where it needs to head next,” with the beautiful and ever expanding needs of our entire family’s needs. And yes,,, relatives are a strengthening yarn woven into that magic blanket. Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles and the new elderly couple at the retirement center,,, Such variety of yarn that is different, yet ageless at the same time. Homeschooling is a time-tested way to pass on the heritage of love for all ages and to discover the benefit of love and instruction those naturally wiser.
Thanks for being an encouragement to all 🙂
I enjoyed reading your words. I have been homeschooling for one full year and starting year two. I had to pull my son out of public school because he was being lost in the sea of too many children and not enough teachers. It has amazed me what I have learned about my children’s learning styles and abilities. It is wonderful to work for a few hours of book work, but they learn all day with out even knowing. Baking, cooking, arts and crafts, playing outside, and even walking through the woods is a learning possibility. Its Awesome!
I’ve been homeschooling my 11 yr old son for about a year now. He went to public school and was bullied so we tried private school and that was worst. Even the parents were awful at private school. I quickly realized we had to fit in a certain “class” to be accepted by others. That was not a lesson I wanted my child to get early in life and to even think that was ok. We had to cut corners to send him there but as a parent, we do what we think is best for our children. His experience at the private school was awful and expensive. I was running out of options. My husband and I prayed about other options and here we are. Both my husband and I work outside the house but have come up with a schedule that works for us to be able to homeschool. Lord knows I don’t want to fail my son but there are days that I feel I am. There’s so much that I want to teach him and so I over order curriculum
and never get to use it because of time. I’m doing what the public schools do by cramming all this information that he will never be able to retain all. I even talked to him about possibly going back to public school in another area. He didn’t want to do that, he likes being homeschooled but shared with me that I expect too many subjects in one day. That really caught my attention. I prayed and thanked God for such an insight. We are both just exhausted and it’s not necessary. So, this morning, I stumbled upon your blog post and absolutely relate. I hated school growing up. I hated being rushed and homework and even the social aspect. There were 2 teachers that I can remember that made an impact in my life. Two out of hundreds, wow!!
Thank you for writing your honest opinions about homeschooling. It makes me realize what we are doing is right, we just need to adjust things a little and we have the freedom to do so.
Tammi, thank you for sharing! It really means a lot to hear that my words have spoken to others. Sometimes it feels like I’m talking to myself, LOL! But I do know that so many blog posts by others have meant the world to me so I hope that what I write might help just one parents somewhere, sometime. That means a lot to me!
You ARE doing what’s right, if it feels right. Trust yourself and your instinct.
You don’t have to cram. There’s time. They don’t have to learn it all before they graduate. (And cramming doesn’t work anyway!) The entire world is at their fingertips these days. They need to learn the basics when they are young, and then the most important thing is that they learn how to learn and they LOVE learning. I’m still working on that with my own kids, trust me. I screw up constantly. But we are ALL always learning. And that is the important thing to keep in mind.